From a blog -

December 13, 2008 - Saturday

IN LOVING MEMORY
Category: Life

WE ALWAYS HAD A SPECIAL CONNECTION, ONE THAT NO ONE COULD BREAK!
WE COULD ALWAYS TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING, OR AT LEAST
I THOUGHT!
THE NIGHT YOUR GRANDMOTHER TOLD ME YOU WERE DEAD,
I TOLD HER TO STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD.
I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU FELT YOU COULDN'T TALK TO ME,
I WONDER WHY I WASN'T THERE FOR YOU,
I WANT YOU BACK SO BADLY,
BUT NOW THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO.

HOW DID I NOT SEE YOUR PAIN, OR IS WHAT YOU TOLD ME, WAS IT ALL IN VEIN.
AS I AM LEFT HERE ALONE, STANDING IN THE RAIN, I WANT TO KNOW SCOTT, WHAT YOU REALLY HAD TO GAIN!

IM LEFT TO WONDER IS THERE ANYTHING I COULD HAVE DONE,
THE NIGHT THEY TOLD ME YOU WERE GONE, AND HOW YOU HAD DONE WHAT YOU DID, I WANT TO KNOW YOU DID IT WITH A GUN?
BEFORE YOU PUT THAT GUN TO YOUR HEAD, DID YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT YOU WANTED TO BE DEAD?

YOU THOUGHT NOBODY CARED, WELL YOU WERE WRONG,
YOU ALWAYS HAD ME, BUT NOW YOU ARE GONE,
GONE NOT FROM MY HEART OR MY MIND.
YOU HAVE MADE SO MANY PEOPLE CRY, I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU DIDN'T GIVE A TRY.

YOU HAD THE MOST GORGOUS SMILE, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL EYES,
BUT NOW IM LOOKING UP TO YOU HIGH ABOVE AMONGST THE SKIES!
YOUR VOICE WAS SO INCREDIBLE, AND NOW IM LEFT ,
ONLY IN MY MIND HEARING, YOU SING OUR WONDERFUL SONG.

I AM SORRY THAT I FAILED YOU, AND THAT I ADDED TO YOUR GRIEF,
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF, AND FOR MY SOUL THIS IS NO RELIEF.

I OFTEN FIND MYSELF WONDERING WHERE YOU ARE,
AND WHEN I THINK OF YOU, I JUST WANT TO BE DRIVING IN MY CAR.
I WANT TO GO AS FAR AS THE ROAD WILL TAKE ME,
I WOULD SWIM ACROSS THE LARGEST SEA.
IF THAT MEANT I COULD HOLD YOU, SEE YOU AND HEAR YOUR VOICE AGAIN,
THEN SO LET IT BE.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR SUICIDE HAS DONE TO MY SOUL, I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU COULD BE SO DAMN SELFISH, AND SO FUCKING LOW.

IM STILL SO ANGRY AT YOU, THAT I COULD JUST SCREAM,
AND THEN I PINCH MYSELF, TO SEE IF THIS ISNT JUST A DREAM.
AND I FIND THAT IT IS REALITY!

SCOTT ALAN DERR, I HOPE YOU ARE RESTING PEACEFULLY AND NOT BURNING IN HELL, BECASUE WHEN I GET THE CHANCE TO JOIN YOU, I DONT WANT TO A PART OF SATAN'S LITTLE CELL.

I MISS THE HELL OUT OF YOU SCOTT, AND I WISH YOU WERE STILL HERE!!!