A post from Evan's Facebook -

Dont be afraid to ask friends and family how they are really doing even the person who may seem the happiest they could have the darkest life and just put up the biggest facade just because they don't want anyone to feel the same way they do:
Wrote this for a friend of a friend who I do not know but it gave me some relief just writing it its not a guideline to dealing with anything it's just my story and I had some time if you or anyone you know is dealing with loss or depression feel free to read it :
First off I'm very sorry about your loss I know what it's like to lose someone to suicide but that doesn't mean I know what you are going through everyone deals with life in their own unique way so I can only tell u what has and has not worked for me so far none of the comforting words that anyone has spoken to me have had a lifetime effect on me yes every once in awhile I will remember words of comfort and encouragement but more times than not I don't remember so based off of that I am not going to sugar coat anything and try to paint a pretty picture I'm going to tell you the dark side of it all my dad hung himself when I was 9 years old I'm 27 now it was totally unexpected to me he was always there for us and could light up a room loved sports the Padres just made it to the World Series that night so it came as a total surprise at that age I never really questioned why he did it I just knew I didn't have a dad anymore and my mother was handicapped forcing us to live on welfare I have an older brother who was always in and out of Juvi or jail so it was just me and my mom basically I feel like it never really hit me the first year because I was always busy with sports and helping my mom make ends meet one year after my fathers suicide I was molested by a person my mom met at a suicide grievances group which made me wonder if that persons adopted son committed suicide because he was molested by that person too shortly after that person was arrested for it once again everything became an after thought while I was younger I thrived in high school to the point teachers would ask about my home life my parents and think I was joking because I would talk about it like it was nothing and it really felt that way because I was so focused on being a 3 sport athlete with a high gpa I won homecoming king I had a steady gf we won high school sweethearts together I was accepted to 7 universities in California but my brother was arrested again right before my graduation then high school ended reality hit hard welfare was cut so I felt like I couldn't go to school and play sports anymore I had to work to pay rent my mom was only afforded 600 a month from disability try living off that in San Diego a year or 2 after high school I no longer had a gf I no longer had a job no longer played sports I had all the time in the world in that time all I seemed to use it for was to finally reflect on everything I had gone through in my life everything I suppose I bottled up inside all I did was pity myself and forget about all the good things i had done in my life so far my grandma on my dads side killed herself my father killed himself the person who molested me adoptive son killed himself it was all around me the example was set so I too tried to kill myself with a huge overdose of sleeping pills when I was 20 I was in the hospital for a week only my mom and one friend came to see me I and lied to everyone I knew told them I was drunk and energized off of 4lokos that I just wanted to go to sleep for some reason they all bought it after that i found a job again worked my way into a career landed a good high paying job a few months after I got the job my mom passed away unexpectedly it brought everything in my life back up again for a split second but again I didn't really have time to stop and think about it I was 25 when she passed and I had to put my mom to rest with little to no help from any one im in the present now and doing better simply by being honest with myself I don't have a perfect answer for how to deal with any of it but I know what has worked from me through trial and error and I hope you don't have to go through that I know I'm a huge stubborn individual who will not ask for help which can be a problem I know that depression hits the hardest when I have too much time alone and get lost in my thoughts I know not having a family around holidays feels like ripping off an old scab i know I even get the opposite effect out of kind gestures from people thinking they pity me those are the bad days and they tend to not come around as often as the good ones but they do come and they will come but I just have to go back to what I've learned has worked for me staying productively busy working out its amazing how much being in shape compared to not being in shape have on your mental state doing things I genuinely enjoy it is very important to get to know yourself don't be afraid to ask yourself why u are feeling the way you do and don't be afraid to feel that way it's okay to feel sad mad angry just try to learn what it is that is making u feel that way so u can control it or come to terms with it just because something bad has happened doesn't mean you can't find happiness peace and joy I've found it then I lost it and found it again it's an everyday struggle I wish you the best with yours if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to contact me